My Afternoon at the Playground

(Written from the perspective of Grayson, by Dad)

Cars are boring, I wish I could get out of the car, oh boy the car stopped, who the heck is that in the window, IT’S DAD, this is the best day ever, I love dad so mu….. where am I, this isn’t home, OH MY GODDDDDDDDDD IT’S THE PLAYGROUND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!, best day ever best day ever best day ever I’m so excited I need to run, I fell down, I’m running again, I fell down again, I’m running again….wait, where are my parents, oh my god where are my parents, oh no they left me, I’m going to cry, oh wait…there they are right behind me…..nevermind, there is a pink tricycle someone left…best toy ever, must play with it, no wait…mom….let me go, I don’t want to play on the playground, I hate playgrounds, I love pink tricycles….NOOOOOOOOOOOO….nevermind, are those stairs on this playground, I love stairs, climbing stairs is the best thing ever, I love stairs, a slide??? What genius put a slide at the top of the stairs, I love slides, stairs are stupid, slides are awesome, how do I go down the slide, I think I want to go on my butt, no my belly, no my butt, no my belly, no my butt….OH MY GODDDDDDDD IT’S A DOG……I have to go to the dog, stupid slide is in the way of the dog, how do I get to the dog, stupid slide, need to get down, belly? Butt? Belly? Butt? Belly, definitely belly….weeeeeee…oh hi mom, what are you doing down here, did you see me go down the sli…….oh yeah DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOGGGGGGG!!!!! I love dogs, I want to hug I want to hug it…oh my god it attacked me a licked the crap out of my face….I hate dogs…..OH MY GODDDDDDDDDDD the SWINGSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!! I love swings….Dad dad dad dad pick me up….yes yes yes…..swings are awesome…ok mom in front and dad you push from behind….what the heck are you doing in front, I said behind…..that’s better…now push, higher, higher, higher……WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE…..Dad, what the eff are you doing, I said behind me, no not in front, behind me……I hate swings…get me out of here, mom pick me up…now put me down….OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOD!!!!! A DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOG….I love dogs…I must hug the dog….it just attacked me again…..what is with the face licking….I hate dogs….Is that a playground…. I LOVE PLAYGROUNDS….STAIRS, I LOVE STAIRS…..wooohooo just running around on top of the playground, this is the best day ever….A SLIDE…. I LOVE SLIDES….. oh my god, do I go down on my belly? Butt? Belly? Butt? Belly?... hey wait…what the crap..no way girlie I was here first…wait Dad…no don’t touch me, there is no way that dumb girl is going to go down the slide first……what, no put me down….THIS IS THE WORST DAY EVERRRRRRRRR……I said put me down….OH MY GODDDDDD A SLIDE….Butt? Belly? Butt? Belly?  Definitely Belly….WEEEEEEEEEEEEEE…. Oh hi mom, fancy seeing you at the bottom of the sli……OH MY GODDDDDDDDDDD….ARE THOSE DUCKS????? I MUST FEED THE DUCKS….ducks are my favorite thing ever…I must run to them….I fell down, I’m running again…I fell down again….I’m running again….mom, bread, now, I need to feed the ducks NOWWWWWWW….ok thanks for the bread….ok here’s the wind up…wow I threw it really far (it was 5 inches from his feet), Hey Ducks, why aren’t you eating the bread…HEY DUCKS OVER HERE…stupid ducks….I hate ducks…..Is that kid running, that looks awesome, I’m going to go chase him, hey kid come back, I just want to hang out….COME BACKKKKKK… OH MY GODDDDDDDDDD is that a playground…..I love playgrounds…..what no put me down Dad, no I don’t want to go, no PUT ME DOWN…look there is the pink tricycle again….Let me play with that….PUT ME DOWN…..OH MY GODDDDDDDDDD…A DOOOOOOOOOOOG…..Dad PUT ME DOOOOOOOOOWN…. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO….. DON’T PUT ME IN THE CAR….. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO………worst day ever………………….